If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… but it’s only a ‘penny for your thoughts’? Where’s that extra penny going to?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they ’slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

Try to answer any of them if you can lol
You guys are complaining that this is long?I read 336 COMPLETELY USELESS FACTS NO PROBLEM,geez people are lazy

OK…. got a small external hemorrhoid. What’s the best treatment I can do myself? Does the Preperation "H" cream work????

My wife & I have been marrid since December. I told her before marriage that I had a threesome with my ex wife and didn’t like it, which is true as exciting as it was it became clumsy. I told my current wife that i would never want another one and that I prefer sex to be part of a monogamous relationship.

She is pregnant and is very insecure about her body. She is also less nimble at the moment.

I have tried to bring up the issue of threesomes by aksing her if she has lesbian tendencies and asking if her female friends fancy her. I also would like to have partes where we all get it on.

The problem is my wife is very insecure & i think she wouls be angry as I told her I wasn’t intrested befoe marrige – but things change.

I know her insecurities about her changing body are why she is upset about me going to lie on the beach alone when she will be heavily pregnant (she reckons that its because she’ll need me to be around, though she admitted that she is worried that i’ll be ogling other birds (well I am a guy) and she can’t go on hioliday alone so I see no problem with me going on my own.)

So how do I get her to come around to the idea of sharing our bed…. I’m obviously not interested in another guy.

I didn’t like it with my ex as I was jealous watching her with anyone else – but this is different, but I know she’ll feel more insecure?

I also used to have anal with my exes – she hasn’t and said she can’t because being pregnant has given her haemorrhoids… how can I go without for life?

Also she got upset when I told her that alsthough I love her I wouldn’t die for her or put myself in danger trying to save her (if she was in a fire etc) or if she tried to commit suicide I wouldn;t try to revive her as it may look bad on me – she dien’t understand this and thought I was uncaring – but I told her I would die trying to save my 19yr old son which shows I’m a caring person?

I think I need to visit a doctor or consult someone or something. Really panicking the more I think about it, but I think I’ve had a hemorrhoid problem for almost half a year now, and I’m terrified that it’s getting worse or will get worse or might be irreversible or might cause irreversible damage etc. Pretty average freak-out stuff.

Anyway, I’m 20 years old and have no insurance and very little money, any idea how much it could cost out of pocket?

Also, if anyone knows, any idea how long the treatment might take/last?

I’m really worried, I’ve changed my diet and am starting to exercise more but I’ve had it for almost six months, I think, so I don’t think it’s going to just go away. I could have misdiagnosed myself, also, seeing as I’m no doctor… but that’s why I want to get professional consult before I panic even more.

Any ideas/help/suggestions?

I don’t think I can hold out until Obamacare kicks in =P
Edit: symptoms, I guess. A little graphic.
Some small amount of blood, general discomfort when going to the bathroom, it feels like it’s harder to actually get the stuff out the door, so to speak, and when I wipe I feel like I have to push it all back in, as disgusting as that sounds.
There was a time when I simply could not go to the bathroom. That was the most panicked I’ve ever been. I pushed and nothing would come out, as if it was all being blocked halfway. An hour or so later I managed to finish my BM and I’ve been somewhat fine ever since.

The last parts are what have me so worried, I’m afraid that that has progressed beyond a simple hemorrhoid issue, but I really don’t know if I can afford to see a doctor…

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in". but it’s only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where’s that extra penny going to?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you; but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?

I thought about how my mother fed me with a tiny spoon and fork, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of it’s nose?

So what’s the speed of dark?

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

If you’re sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs.

Who shuts the door when the bus driver gets off?

What came first, the fruit or the color orange?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

What does the K in K-Mart stand for?

Which came first the fruit or the color orange?

How do "please keep off the grass" signs get there?
Thanks for telling me that i wrote that twice =) I’m always going to wonder who closes the door when the bus driver gets off now haha

My father ( 49 yrs old) was diagnosed with Hepatitis C at least five years ago, maybe more and also told that his liver was enlarged. He quit drinking about 3 or 4 years ago. He was a very heavy drinker and drug abuser. Last year he had x-rays done that showed that his liver had lesions (about 6?) and that his liver was enlarged ( I have no idea if it was the same as when he was first treated or if the swelling had increased) He seemed to be sorta okay healthwise for the last few years except for chronic hemorrhoids, very dry looking pale skin and excessive lip smacking (don’t know what that is about..) Over the last few weeks he has been extremely fatigued, having sharp pains in his right abdomen every few minutes and last week we noticed that his eyes are VERY yellow..His tongue is very white..Is that a symptom of Hep C or something else? He has some emphysema and I suspect COPD… Is this disease fatal? I mean, I know it can cause liver failure, liver sclerosis, hepatomegaly, etc.. What I dont know is how far advanced his case is. He is not too fond of medical help… I am trying to convince him to see a doctor…. If you have an educated opinion on this disease, please give me some advice/ answers. Is he dying??? If you are going to post things like " make him go to the dr" or " I don’t know" or " any other asinine answer, please kindly refrain. I know that this site is not a panel of experts but I am at a loss until I can convince him to let me get help for him. Thank you in advance for your help.
I forgot to add that he is also vomiting and has diarrhea.
I also forgot to add that he is confused a lot (like he can’t think or his mind is moving slowly) and that his doc said his levels were "elevated" a few years ago.

Haunting Questions

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

i have a small lump at the opening of the anus. it almost appeared suddenly and it is painless. it is a bit hard and feels like something protruding. it is very small, the size of a pea. i have no discomfort other than light itching at times. it has been there for a week now and nothing has changed. i figure it is external haemorrhoid.could u plz recommend any cream that could be applied to make it dissappear? is there any other treatment? how long does a external haemorrhoid usually last
guys plz help.
thanks a ton
kindly do mention how long does it usually take to shrink?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… but it’s only a ‘penny for your thoughts’? Where’s that extra penny going ?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they ’slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They’re going to see you naked anyway.

Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They’re both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone
believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, ‘It’s all right?’ Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, ‘That really hurt, why don’t you watch where you’re going?’

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE……
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

~~~Now send this on to your friends and make them smile too!~~~

****A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine!****

the other day i realised i had a pain and itch in my butt. the pain is worse when i sit down onto the toilet and the area is red and swollen. there has been blood in my stool a few times and i read that this is very common and is most probably hemorrhoids?

i was wondering if there is any self treatment for this, as i am uncomfortable going to a doctor about it. i read that eating soft foods and fiber helps but is there anything else to make it go away?

Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about:

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it’s only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where’s that extra penny going to?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

I think I have worms….in fact, I’m quite sure….(I won’t go into details)…is there a treatment for them? Also, I think I have piles (hemorrhoids) sp….

And….I bleed every time I do a poo and it’s sore to wipe…(I never indulge in anal sex…so it’s not that.)

Imagine my discomfort! How can I resolve this….serious answers only please.

Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… but it’s only a ‘penny for your thoughts’? Where’s that extra penny going to?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they ’slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?
If 2 deaf persons has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid
song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of acoconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all
fours? They’re both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

These questions puzzle me! Any answers to them? Sorry if some of them are offending..

Ok, I have a tightly swollen knot right outside my rectum (butt hole). It tends to come and go, and the intensity of pain also changes from hour to hour. I first noticed it 3 days ago when I was maxing out on bench press, so I am hoping it is some type of strain from working out. Also, It is not discoloured red or deep blue like hemorrhoids tend to be. Any diagnosis’s or treatment suggestions?

Such a gross topic I know but that’s life. So I have been experiencing slight pain while ‘going number two’. Almost as if i have a small cut that keeps getting ripped open when i go. There is sometimes the tinyest bit of blood on the tissue. Although i dont see any lumps or such down there. Does this sounds like a hemorrhoid to you? I’m only 20 and know nothing about them..

If it is, what are some home treatment ideas i can try?

a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, \"I think I\’ll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?\"

a.. Who was the first person to say \"See that chicken there….I\’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it\’s butt.\"

a.. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

a.. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

a.. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

a.. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

a.. If the professor on Gilligan\’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can\’t he fix a hole in a boat?

a.. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don\’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

a.. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They\’re both dogs!

a.. What do you call male ballerinas?

a.. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

a.. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,why
didn\’t he just buy dinner?

a.. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

a.. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

a.. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

a.. Isn\’t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

a.. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?

a.. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

a.. Why do they call it an asteroid when it\’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it\’s in your ***?

a.. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog\’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can\’t wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

a.. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

a.. Why does donald duck wear a towel when he comes out of a shower, yet he walks around with no trousers on the rest of the time.

i have a hemorrhoid and what treatment should i do?

My wife & I have been marrid since December. I told her before marriage that I had a threesome with my ex wife and didn’t like it, which is true as exciting as it was it became clumsy. I told my current wife that i would never want another one and that I prefer sex to be part of a monogamous relationship.

She is pregnant and is very insecure about her body. She is also less nimble at the moment.

I have tried to bring up the issue of threesomes by aksing her if she has lesbian tendencies and asking if her female friends fancy her. I also would like to have partes where we all get it on.

The problem is my wife is very insecure & i think she wouls be angry as I told her I wasn’t intrested befoe marrige – but things change.

I know her insecurities about her changing body are why she is upset about me going to lie on the beach alone when she will be heavily pregnant (she reckons that its because she’ll need me to be around, though she admitted that she is worried that i’ll be ogling other birds (well I am a guy) and she can’t go on hioliday alone so I see no problem with me going on my own.)

So how do I get her to come around to the idea of sharing our bed…. I’m obviously not interested in another guy.

I didn’t like it with my ex as I was jealous watching her with anyone else – but this is different, but I know she’ll feel more insecure?

I also used to have anal with my exes – she hasn’t and said she can’t because being pregnant has given her haemorrhoids… how can I go without for life?

Also she got upset when I told her that alsthough I love her I wouldn’t die for her or put myself in danger trying to save her (if she was in a fire etc) or if she tried to commit suicide I wouldn;t try to revive her as it may look bad on me – she dien’t understand this and thought I was uncaring – but I told her I would die trying to save my 19yr old son which shows I’m a caring person?

I’ve posted this in other categories but nobody will help me – I dontwant to split but I want to have a satisflying life

The easy treatments for hemorrhoids and varicose veins, a no surgical and painless method?

I had to admit, I pondered some of these questions…

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"… but it’s only a "penny for
your thoughts"? Where’s that extra penny going to?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like
every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss
America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you
naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

When your photo is taken for your driver’s license, why do they tell you to
smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you
going to be smiling?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why
can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point
to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both
dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he
just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call
it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Anybody knows any medicines or cream for treatment of hemorrhoid?? pls help!

Hi im 28 and female. I dont have insurance and im unemployed, but i went to a primary care physician at a family clinic on a sliding scale. I went to the doctor 3 months ago because i have bright red bleeding in my stool. He assumed it was hemorrhoids, but he didnt do a examine!

I started eating more fiber and the blood went away for a few months, but it came back today.

I cant afford a Colonoscopy. Is there any websites with cheap clinics that can help me?
Im sure its blood…bright red in the toilet stool. I dont drink wine or juice with artificial color. I drink nothing but water. When i pass soft stool i dont bleed. It only happens when i pass hard stool…i see a lot of blood in the toilet.

I have a lump near my anus, which is only slightly raised but quite hard. It is slightly red, and quite painful when pressed…I know it’s there when I am walking around sometimes and when I sit down. It seems to have a very slight dishcarge, which is a white-pink colour. Is this a hemorrhoid? If so what is the best treatment? I have never had anything like this before, I don’t have any problems going to the toilet or anything. If it isn’t a hemorrhoid what could it be? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

My wife & I have been marrid since December. I told her before marriage that I had a threesome with my ex wife and didn’t like it, which is true as exciting as it was it became clumsy. I told my current wife that i would never want another one and that I prefer sex to be part of a monogamous relationship.

She is pregnant and is very insecure about her body. She is also less nimble at the moment.

I have tried to bring up the issue of threesomes by aksing her if she has lesbian tendencies and asking if her female friends fancy her. I also would like to have partes where we all get it on.

The problem is my wife is very insecure & i think she wouls be angry as I told her I wasn’t intrested befoe marrige – but things change.

I know her insecurities about her changing body are why she is upset about me going to lie on the beach alone when she will be heavily pregnant (she reckons that its because she’ll need me to be around, though she admitted that she is worried that i’ll be ogling other birds (well I am a guy) and she can’t go on hioliday alone so I see no problem with me going on my own.)

So how do I get her to come around to the idea of sharing our bed…. I’m obviously not interested in another guy.

I didn’t like it with my ex as I was jealous watching her with anyone else – but this is different, but I know she’ll feel more insecure?

I also used to have anal with my exes – she hasn’t and said she can’t because being pregnant has given her haemorrhoids… how can I go without for life?

Also she got upset when I told her that alsthough I love her I wouldn’t die for her or put myself in danger trying to save her (if she was in a fire etc) or if she tried to commit suicide I wouldn;t try to revive her as it may look bad on me – she dien’t understand this and thought I was uncaring – but I told her I would die trying to save my 19yr old son which shows I’m a caring person?

I’ve posted this in other categories but nobody will help me – I dontwant to split but I want to have a satisflying life

Would dabbing a cotton ball in aloe vera gel on the hemorrhoid area effectively get rid of my hemorrhoids? If so, how many times a day should I apply it and how long will it take to work?